Stress Is Not Your Personality: Stress Relief Starts with Understanding Your Body’s Signals

Let’s get one thing straight: stress is not your vibe, your brand, or your destiny.

Stress is not who you are — it’s what your body is experiencing when the demands on your system outweigh the resources available. Think of it less like a personality trait and more like your body waving a bright red flag that says: “Hey love, I need some support right now.”

Stress is a Biological Signal, Not a Character Flaw

When you feel stressed, it’s not a sign you’re weak or “bad at handling life.” It’s your nervous system and endocrine system doing their best to keep you alive.

• Cortisol & adrenaline: These stress hormones are released to mobilize energy, sharpen focus, and keep you safe. Great if you’re running from a tiger… not so great if it’s just your inbox.

• The HPA axis (hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis): This is your body’s stress-response command center. It’s brilliant at short-term survival, but when it’s constantly activated, it drains your energy, disrupts sleep, digestion, and hormone balance.

• Chronic stress has been linked to increased inflammation, disrupted circadian rhythms, blood sugar dysregulation, and higher risk of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and mood disorders (Cohen, Janicki-Deverts, & Miller, 2007; McEwen, 2006).

So, stress is real, but it’s not “you.” It’s your body asking for recalibration and stress relief.

The Myth of “I’m Just a Stressed Person”

Have you ever caught yourself saying, “I’ve always been like this” or “I’m just a Type A, I thrive on stress”?

That’s a coping story. Yes, personality traits can influence how we respond to life’s curveballs. But chronic stress isn’t meant to be your baseline.

Why?

Because the human body is designed for oscillation — we’re supposed to switch between moments of activation (go mode) and recovery (rest mode). When recovery is skipped, stress starts to look like an identity. It’s not who you are, it’s what you’ve been conditioned to normalize.

Listening to the Signal

Instead of wearing stress like a badge of honor, try seeing it as a gentle nudge (or sometimes a loud alarm) that your system is overwhelmed. Here’s what the signal can look like:

• You’re tired but wired at night (hello, cortisol spike).

• You crave sugar, caffeine, or salty snacks for quick hits of energy.

• Your digestion feels off — bloating, constipation, or acid reflux.

• Your cycle is irregular, PMS is worse, or you’re feeling mood swings.

• Focus is harder, even when you “push through.”

These aren’t random annoyances. They’re data points. Your body’s way of saying: “Help me create balance.”

Supporting the System: Small, Science-Backed Shifts

You don’t need a week-long retreat in Bali (though that sounds dreamy). Daily micro-adjustments can help rewire your stress response.

• Nervous system reset: Slow, diaphragmatic breathing has been shown to lower cortisol and shift the body into parasympathetic (rest + digest) mode (McEwen, 2006).

• Blood sugar balance: Stress and unstable blood sugar are besties in the worst way. Aim for protein + fiber at meals to reduce spikes and crashes.

• Light exposure: Morning sunlight helps reset circadian rhythms, which lowers evening cortisol and improves sleep quality.

• Movement as medicine: Gentle movement (walking, yoga, stretching) can help regulate cortisol. Over-exercising, on the other hand, can add to the stress load.

• Boundaries & rest: Science backs what your grandma told you — you can’t pour from an empty cup. Sleep, rest, and saying “no” are health interventions (Cohen et al., 2007).

The Reframe for Stress Relief

Sis, let’s reframe this: stress is not your identity. It’s your body’s built-in feedback system. Just like hunger tells you to eat and thirst tells you to hydrate, stress tells you that your system needs extra care, restoration, and balance.

Your worth is not measured by how much stress you can endure.

Your power lies in how well you listen to your body’s signals — and how lovingly you respond.

✨ Your takeaway: The next time you catch yourself saying “I’m just a stressed person,” pause. Remind yourself: “No, my body is simply communicating. And I have tools to listen and respond.”

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References

Cohen, S., Janicki-Deverts, D., & Miller, G. E. (2007). Psychological stress and disease. Journal of the American Medical Association, 298(14), 1685–1687. https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.298.14.1685

McEwen, B. S. (2006). Protective and damaging effects of stress mediators: central role of the brain. Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, 8(4), 367–381. https://doi.org/10.31887/DCNS.2006.8.4/bmcewen

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Further Reading

• Robert Sapolsky — Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers

  A witty, approachable book on stress physiology. Sapolsky makes complex science fun (and you’ll never look at zebras the same way again).

  
  

• George Chrousos — “Stress and disorders of the stress system” (Nature Reviews Endocrinology, 2009)

  A deep dive into how stress affects hormones and health. Perfect if you’re curious about the medical aspects.

  
  

• Juster, McEwen & Lupien — “Allostatic load and health” (Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 2010)

  Introduces the concept of “allostatic load” — basically, how stress wears down your body over time. Eye-opening!